We just returned home from an Advent Christian Leadership Conference in North Carolina, and I am feeling a little emotionally dizzy.   I'm excited, and nervous, and excited...
    Josh has been working towards his Masters of Divinity for the last...two years?  three years?   We have been praying about where or if we will go into the exciting and scary world of full-time pastoral ministry, and this last week was very affirming. 
   I haven't ever doubted that Josh could do it.  I am extremely biased, but he is a great preacher.  I love that he is exactly who he is at the pulpit as he is in normal life- which means that sometimes he mentions bodily functions and uses words like"crotch" in his sermons.  But he's real and he means what he says.
   But me?  I am not a pastor's wife.  I'm cranky and crazy and I do not enjoy crafts.  I am over-exuberant and I really like secular music.  I looked at the other pastor's wives at this conference and I felt like a different animal.  It wasn't anyone else's fault.  It was all me.  Everyone was very welcoming and friendly and seemed to be totally accepting of the idea that Josh and I could join their ranks.
   For the first time this week I really felt like this calling that Josh feels is my own, too.  That I'm not the right tool for the job, but in a Master's Hand I can be used to make something excellent.  I felt like I could be satisfied in a traditional church, or in a church that's something else entirely.  And the possibilities are thrilling.  And scary.  And thrilling.



While we were gone, our friends Katie and Chris Bayer watched the kids.  They took them to school, fed them, did CRAFTS with them, and cleaned my house and van.  They also hosted our small group at our house.  Bowden missed us more than he usually does.  Lucy had her nails painted.   Katie said that she rocked Spring pictures for Jack at school, and Miles climbed in bed, professed that he wanted Momma, and then tried to push Chris and Katie out at the same time, saying, "I want to sleep here alooooone."    When we got home at 12:30am PST last night, the house was beautiful, the kids were peaceful, and our bed was made.    I spent all last week with one of my favorite sister-in-laws in Oxnard.  I'm exhausted, on many levels, but very aware of God's goodness.

December is a quick month

 The chaos of the holidays is well worth it to me.  We have had crazy days here, but the results of that craziness are pure joy.  John and Lisa are in California with my newest niece Bryn, and I got to hold her to sleep twice. I love this baby.  I love to look at her and think about how my children and Lisa's children are physically related...not that shared blood makes this baby any more precious to me.

 We had a party, and took no pictures, except of the castle- before and after for you here.  Katie and Chris Bayer, Josh and Emily White, Tarrah and Matt Pritchett and Josh's White's brother Jared and his fiancee Doreen joined in this cavity-promoting tradition.

 And I looked at this baby some more.  I really can't imagine how she could get any cuter.  Or sweeter.  She's just a wonderful baby.  (And her mom?  I would live in the snow to be by her.)

 Today we listened to Daddy's Christmas devotion...

 And showed off our Christmas sock feet.  We did not change from our pajamas all day.  We had a wonderful day.

The funniest moment of the day came at the end when we were watching a movie and I was playing scrabble on the computer when I hear Jack next to me ask for something.  I turned to him and realized that he was actually asking one of his presents- giant Hulk fists- if he could have some of the foam "pills" that turn into animals and other shapes in water.
 "Can I have a green one?"


Tomorrow is more fun- the next week will be more fun, as long as it slows down a bit.   I'm going to spend a day and a half with my sister and my second-newest niece before they fly back East for all sorts of fun.  Hopefully we'll see John and Lisa again, and there is talk of a trip to Disneyland.  Now I need to go to bed.  Sleep is in high demand here at the Tate House.  Merry Christmas!!!

Tonight I put my boys to bed, and gave thanks.
In a world so dark and dangerous, it can be hard to live without fear, but I manage, most of the time, to trust in the One who knows the hairs on my head, and cares even for the sparrows. 
Tonight I brushed my daughter's hair, and gave thanks.
Tonight I lay tangled up on the couch with all four of the small people God has blessed us with, and my faithful husband, and gave thanks.
I know how fast and terrible tragedy can be, and I know how hard it can be to find any good in any of this, but still, I am intensely grateful. 
For my healthy children, my happy home, and a God that loves us enough to let us choose to love Him back.
I'm praying for the families of the children and adults killed and injured today in my own country, and the families of the children and teacher in China who were attacked on Friday.  The world is not a safe place for children- it is not safe for anyone.
But I rest assured of the mercy of my God, of the passing away of this hard land for a good one, and of the grace that is offered to all of us, and the Hope born that we celebrate this month, a Child who was in grave danger his entire life, murdered by his own people, so that we might find our way home.

Happy Day!

 I'm sure that everyone reading this knows that Happy Day is the day that the Tates celebrate the first nationally televised Redskins game.  Josh judged this year that this holiday could not be on Thanksgiving, so we celebrated Monday.  It was a day of great Joy.  We traveled down to the desert and made our first stop at the 'Bucks.

 Josh ate a cake pop. 

 Jack wore our special Redskins luchador mask.

 Miles got a cookie.

Lucy also got a cake pop. I gave them a choice of drink or treat.  She loves these cake pops.  Why are cake pops so big right now?  I do not share the love.

 

Bowden picked a beverage.  He got a smoothie. My drink is pure fat and sugar.  So good.  So heart-clogging. 

 

 

Then Josh took me to this store. I took home a portable drink filter.

 

 

Our next stop was to buy our Christmas tree.

 

 

 

We stopped by store on the way home, and I made Josh a traditional Happy Day feast, with the new addition of the most delicious cheesey bread I have ever eaten. The Redskins won!

The next pictures are slightly disturbing, so be warned.  I'm not going to ask you to scroll through them quickly, even though that would give you a good idea of the proud savagery captured by my unhappy little camera on Thanksgiving Day.  Here is our Jack Fox.

And just what does Josh think about all this?

There you go.

Las Lomas is my favorite Mexican place.
IN THE WORLD.
One of the highlights of our Thanksgiving weekend in the Valley was our breakfast with Tony and Andy and Leyla and Umpa and my mom and all of us Tates. I wonder, as I type this, how many times I've eaten there?

    
     Miles loves Uncle Tony.  And who wouldn't?  He's a wonderful Uncle, and I am so blessed to have him as my own, and so thankful that my children have him, too.  Whenever we spend time with our Rini family, I see my kids with Tony and think about how much my father has missed out on.  Tony is a great-uncle unlike any other, and I see how God has used him and my Aunt Marlene to fill the hole that my father left us with.
     
        My dad's birthday was yesterday.  It's been eight and a half years since he died, and it's still so fresh at times.  I can't think about his birthday without thinking about how he would have hated it.  I wish, though, I wish...that the hole didn't exist, and that I had been eating at Las Lomas with my dad and Uncle Tony and Andy and Leyla and and Umpa and my mom and Bowden and three of my favorite people that he never met, but I know he would have loved.  Happy sixty-fifth birthday, dad.

 Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Really, if you think about it, September wasn't that far away.  Truth be told, I'm posting here more than 70 percent* of the people I have linked on my blog.  Honestly, for someone who has very little to say, I have done more than you would expect.

 

But I'm sorry.  I think about all of the people I love who want to see my chickens, and I feel bad that I don't post more about what has been happening in our lives.  Because I really, truly believe that this medium is valuable in keeping us connected, and I know that for people like my family back in Vermont and Massachusetts, and my friends across the world, and even my mom two hours away, this  blog can be the best tool I have to make you a bigger part of my life.

 

We have been doing things- millions of things, and at times I think too much.  Bowden started martial arts in September, and Lucy and Jack played soccer, too.  We have been plugging away at home-school with Lucy and Bowden, and when I use the word "plugging"  I really mean "plodding" or even "oozing" because it feels like such a trial this year.

The "small group" of twenty-two people that Josh leads began again in September also...and since being involved in a full-time ministry, going to school, and serving on the church's elder board keeps Josh only mostly busy, he decided to coach Lucy's soccer team.

Miles is in preschool two days a week, and he loves it, and Jack is in kindergarten at the local school.  I'm planning on bringing him home for first grade, but for this year he's getting a healthy helping of socializing and exposure to reading, and I get two mornings without little people interrupting my teaching.  My favorite time of day is when they are all home.

We have the next week off for Thanksgiving Break, and I am so glad to have everyone home.  I'm looking forward to going down to my mom's house for Thanksgiving, but I miss my sister and her people.  And, really, that is all there is to it. 

I mean, I've read a lot of books, but who wants to hear about that?

 

And I will try to post more often.

 

 

 

*Totally fictitious number.  I just made it up, but it's probably true.