We just returned home from an Advent Christian Leadership Conference in North Carolina, and I am feeling a little emotionally dizzy.   I'm excited, and nervous, and excited...
    Josh has been working towards his Masters of Divinity for the last...two years?  three years?   We have been praying about where or if we will go into the exciting and scary world of full-time pastoral ministry, and this last week was very affirming. 
   I haven't ever doubted that Josh could do it.  I am extremely biased, but he is a great preacher.  I love that he is exactly who he is at the pulpit as he is in normal life- which means that sometimes he mentions bodily functions and uses words like"crotch" in his sermons.  But he's real and he means what he says.
   But me?  I am not a pastor's wife.  I'm cranky and crazy and I do not enjoy crafts.  I am over-exuberant and I really like secular music.  I looked at the other pastor's wives at this conference and I felt like a different animal.  It wasn't anyone else's fault.  It was all me.  Everyone was very welcoming and friendly and seemed to be totally accepting of the idea that Josh and I could join their ranks.
   For the first time this week I really felt like this calling that Josh feels is my own, too.  That I'm not the right tool for the job, but in a Master's Hand I can be used to make something excellent.  I felt like I could be satisfied in a traditional church, or in a church that's something else entirely.  And the possibilities are thrilling.  And scary.  And thrilling.



While we were gone, our friends Katie and Chris Bayer watched the kids.  They took them to school, fed them, did CRAFTS with them, and cleaned my house and van.  They also hosted our small group at our house.  Bowden missed us more than he usually does.  Lucy had her nails painted.   Katie said that she rocked Spring pictures for Jack at school, and Miles climbed in bed, professed that he wanted Momma, and then tried to push Chris and Katie out at the same time, saying, "I want to sleep here alooooone."    When we got home at 12:30am PST last night, the house was beautiful, the kids were peaceful, and our bed was made.    I spent all last week with one of my favorite sister-in-laws in Oxnard.  I'm exhausted, on many levels, but very aware of God's goodness.